A Dummies' Guide
-
Don't throw a brick straight up.
-
Don't take long naps while driving.
-
Walk around toxic waste dumps, not through them.
-
Your body has the correct number of holes in it. Don't make any
more.
-
Don't microwave yourself too often.
-
Don't stick body parts into electrical outlets.
-
When using an acetylene torch, don't feel the flame to see if it's
sufficiently hot.
-
If you're on a ball field and someone shouts "Heads up!" don't
actually raise your head up. Cover it with your arms and duck.
-
Don't tie yourself to an airplane propeller.
-
When you are in bed remember to close your eyes.
-
No matter how tempting it is to be one with nature, stay on the
outside of all fences at the zoo.
-
When sticking thumb tacks into bulletin boards, press on the flat
end.
-
Under no circumstances should you ever reproduce.
-
When you find a prize in a box of " Crackerjacks " there is no need
to report it on your income tax return.
-
"Time" magazine is not suitable to wear on your wrist. Get a watch.
-
One + one = two. Try to remember that.
-
Don't count the peas in a can. It is not an exact science.
-
If you discover that February only has 28 days, don't report it to
the Consumer Fraud Department. Likely they will ignore your
complaint.
-
For faster elevator service press the elevator button many times.
-
April 1st is Your special high holy day.
[ Author Unknown -- from 'Buffalos Chips' (buffalos-g-jokes.yahoogroups.com) ]
Inspirational Humor
SkyWriting.Net
All Rights Reserved.
|