A Secretary's Rules For The Boss
"Rules Of Work"
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Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 4 PM and then
bring it to me. The challenge of a deadline is refreshing.
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If it is really a rush job, run in and interrupt me every 10 minutes
to inquire how it is going. That helps. Even better, hover behind me,
and advise me at every keystroke.
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Always leave without telling anyone where you are going. It gives me
a chance to be creative when someone asks where you are.
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If my arms are full of papers, boxes, books or supplies, do not open
the door for me. I need to learn how to function as a paraplegic and
opening doors with no arms is good training in case I should ever be
injured and lose all use of my limbs.
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If you give me more than one job to do, do not tell me which is
priority. I am psychic.
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Do your best to keep me late. I adore this office and really have
nowhere to go or anything to do. I have no life beyond work.
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If a job I do pleases you, keep it a secret. If that gets out, it
could mean a promotion.
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If you do not like my work, tell everyone. I like my name to be
popular in conversations. I was born to be whipped.
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If you have special instructions for a job, do not write them down.
In fact, save them until the job is almost done. No use confusing me
with useful information.
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Never introduce me to the people you are with. I have no right to
know anything. In the corporate food chain, I am plankton. When you
refer to them later, my shrewd deductions will identify them.
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Be nice to me only when the job I am doing for you could really
change your life and send you straight to manager's hell.
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Tell me all your little problems. No one else has any and it is nice
to know someone is less fortunate. I especially like the story about
having to pay so many taxes on the bonus check you received for being
such a good manager.
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Wait until my yearly review and then tell me what my goals should
have been. Give me a mediocre performance rating with a token cost of living
increase. I am not here for the money anyway.
[ Author Unknown -- from 'andychaps_the-funnies' ]
Inspirational Humor
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