Accident Excuses

The following are actual statements found on insurance forms where car drivers attempted to summarize the details of an accident in the fewest possible words....

1. Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.
   
   
2. The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention.
   
   
3. I thought my window was down, but I found it was up when I put my head through it.
   
   
4. I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.
   
   
5. A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.
   
   
6. I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.
   
   
7. In an attempt to kill a fly I drove into a telephone pole.
   
   
8. I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car.
   
   
9. I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.
   
   
10. I was on the way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.
    
    
11. As I approached an intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.
    
    
12. To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front I struck a pedestrian.
    
    
13. My car was legally parked as it backed into another vehicle.
    
    
14. An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.
    
    
15. I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat found that I had a fractured skull.
    
    
16. I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.
    
    
17. The pedestrian had no idea which way to run as I ran over him.
    
    
18. The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.
    
    
19. I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.
    
    
20. The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve out of the way when I struck the front end.
    
    
21. The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.
    

[ Author Unknown -- from 'Aiken Drum' (Aiken@AikensLaughs.com) ]