Canada

Now that Vancouver has won the 2010 Winter Olympics, these are some questions that people all over the world are asking. These questions about Canada were REALLY posted on an International Tourism Website!

• Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK)
  A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die.
  
  
• Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
  A: Depends on how much you've been drinking.
  
  
• Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
  A: Sure, it's only four thousand miles; take lots of water.
  
  
• Q: Are there any ATMs in Canada? Can you send me list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton & Halifax? (UK)
  A: What did your last slave die of?
  
  
• Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? (USA)
  A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe.  Ca-na-da is that big country to your north. Oh, forget it.  Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.
  
  
• Q: Which direction is north in Canada? (USA)
  A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
  
  
• Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
  A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is…Oh, forget it.  Sure, the Vienna Boys' Choir plays every Tuesday night in Calgary, just after the hippo races. Come naked.
  
  
• Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
  A: Yes, gay nightclubs.
  
  
• Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
  A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gatherers.  Milk is illegal.
  
  
• Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its name.  It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA)
  A: It's called a moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
  
  
• Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
  A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.
  

[ Author Unknown -- from Hart Dowd (hsdowd @ telus.net) ]