Cartoon Laws
Cartoon Laws Of Physics
Any body suspended in space will remain in space until made aware of its situation. Any body in motion will tend to remain in motion until solid matter intervenes suddenly. Any body passing through solid matter will leave a perforation conforming to its perimeter. The time required for an object to fall twenty stories is greater than or equal to the time it takes for whoever knocked it off the ledge to spiral down twenty flights to attempt to capture it unbroken. All principles of gravity are negated by fear. As speed increases, objects can be in several places at once. Certain bodies can pass through solid walls painted to resemble tunnel entrances; others cannot. This trompe l'oeil inconsistency has baffled generations, but at least it is known that whoever paints an entrance on a wall's surface to trick an opponent will be unable to pursue him into this theoretical space. The painter is flattened against the wall when he attempts to follow into the painting. Any violent rearrangement of feline matter is impermanent. Cartoon cats possess even more deaths than the traditional nine lives, might comfortably afford. They can be decimated, spliced, splayed, accordion-pleated, spindled, or disassembled, but they cannot be destroyed. After a few moments of blinking self pity, they reinflate, elongate, snap back, or solidify. Corollary: A cat will assume the shape of its container. Everything falls faster than an anvil. For every vengeance there is an equal and opposite revengeance.
[ Author Unknown -- from 'Buffalos Chips' (buffalos-g-jokes.yahoogroups.com) ]Inspirational Humor SkyWriting.Net All Rights Reserved. |