Christmas Humor
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What do they call Santa's helpers?
Subordinate Clauses
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What do you call Santa Clause after he's fallen into a fireplace?
Krisp Kringle
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Who sings "Love Me Tender" and makes Christmas toys?
Santa's little Elvis
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Which of Santa's reindeers needs to mind his manners the most?
"Rude"olph
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What did the Gingerbread Man put on his bed?
A cookie sheet
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What reindeer has the cleanest antlers?
Comet
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What is the cow's holiday greeting?
Mooooory Christmas
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What does Santa like to eat?
A jolly roll
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Where do Santa's reindeers like to stop for lunch?
Deery Queen
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What does Santa say when he is sick?
OH OH NO!
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If athletes get athlete's foot, what do astronauts get?
Missile toe
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How does Santa Claus take pictures?
With his North Pole-aroid
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What do you call the fear of getting stuck while sliding down a chimney?
Santa Claus-trophbia
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What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmas time?
Sandy Claws
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The 3 stages of man:
He believes in Santa Claus
He doesn't believe in Santa Claus
He is Santa Claus
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Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney on Christmas Eve?
Because it soots him
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What can Santa give away and still keep?
A cold
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Why did the elf push his bed into the fireplace?
He wanted to sleep like a log
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What do elves learn in school?
The Elf-abet!
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What nationality is Santa Claus?
North Polish
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Why does Scrooge love Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer?
Because every buck is dear to him
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What do you call a bunch of grandmasters of chess bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?
Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer
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How do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas?
Fleece Navidad!
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite
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What do you get when you cross an archer with a gift-wrapper?
Ribbon hood
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What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Snowflakes
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What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
It's Christmas, Eve
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What did Tarzan sing at Christmas time?
Jungle Bells
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Why was Santa's little helper depressed?
Because he had low elf esteem.
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What is the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
The Christmas alphabet has NO EL.
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Why is getting Christmas presents for your kids just like a day at the office?
You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.
[ Author Unknown -- from 'Buffalos Chips' (buffalos-g-jokes.yahoogroups.com) ]
Inspirational Humor
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