Christmas Lights
Did you know that hanging lights on a Christmas tree is one of the three
(3) most stressful situations in an on-going relationship? (The other
two danger zones are teaching your mate to drive and wallpapering. Don't
EVEN think of going there!) So I now present for you....
*Things NOT To Say When Hanging The Christmas Lights*
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"You've got two red lights right next to each other, goober. You're
supposed to go yellow, green, red, blue, not yellow, red, red, green,
blue..."
-
"Up a little higher. You can reach it. Go on, try."
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"What on earth do you do to these lights when you put them away every
year? Tie them in knots?"
-
"Come away from that aluminum ladder, kids. I'm going to fry that
sucker."
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"If you're not going to do it right, don't do it at all. Don't just
throw them on, like you do the icicles. You're worse than your father."
-
"Give me that!!"
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"You've got the whole thing on the tree upside-down. The electric
pluggee thing should be down here at the bottom, not up at the top."
-
"I don't care if you have found another two strings, I'm done!."
-
"You've just wound 'em around and around - I thought we agreed it
shouldn't look like a spiral this year?"
-
"Have you been drinking?!!?"
-
"Okaaay! Looks like we're *finally* done here now. Not too shabby huh?
Hey....wait a minute, where's the cat?"
[ Author Unknown -- from 'Buffalos Chips' (buffalos-g-jokes.yahoogroups.com) ]
Inspirational Humor
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