You're A Coffee Addict If:
You Know You Are Addicted To Coffee If ....
- You grind Your coffee beans in Your mouth.
- You sleep with Your eyes open.
- You have to watch videos in fast-forward.
- The only time You're standing still is during an earthquake.
- You can take a picture of Yourself from ten feet away without using the timer.
- You've worn out Your third pair of tennis shoes this week.
- Your eyes stay open when You sneeze.
- You chew on other people's fingernails.
- The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take Your pulse.
- You're so jittery that people use Your hands to blend their margaritas.
- You can type sixty words per minute with Your feet.
- You can jump-start Your car without cables.
- You don't sweat, You percolate.
- You run twenty miles on Your treadmill before You realize it's not plugged in.
- You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.
- You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.
- People get dizzy just watching You.
- Instant coffee takes too long.
- You channel surf faster without a remote.
- You have a picture of Your coffee mug on Your coffee mug.
- You can outlast the Energizer bunny.
- You short out motion detectors.
- You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore.
- Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter scale.
- You help Your dog chase its tail.
- You soak Your dentures in coffee overnight.
- Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an I.V. hookup.
- You ski uphill.
- You get a speeding ticket even when You're parked.
- You answer the door before people knock.
- You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.
[ Author Unknown -- from JokeBank ]
Inspirational Humor
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