College Dictionary
-
ABSENT: (n) The notation generally following your name in a class
record.
-
ADMISSIONS OFFICE: (n) Where they take you to get you to admit you've
mooned the keynote speaker during "new student weekend."
-
ANATOMY: (n) One of those classes that sounds vaguely risque
until you find out what it REALLY involves.
-
BIOLOGY: (n) A class located suspiciously near the cafeteria.
-
BOOK: (n) A depository of knowledge which a student will try to stay
wake long enough to read the night before finals.
-
BOOKBAG: (n) A large
container in which students store candy bars, gum, combs, little
slips of paper with phone numbers on them, yo-yos, sunglasses,
student I.D.s, loose change, magazines, & (occasionally) books.
-
CAFETERIA: (n) from Latin "cafe" ("place to eat") and "teria"
("to wretch").
-
CAFFEINE: (n) One of the four basic food groups.
-
CALL: (v) What you can't do because your stupid roommate has
to go over every stupid detail of every stupid day with their
stupid hometown sweetheart.
-
COACH: (n) A teacher who rewards successful "students" with
a new Corvette.
-
CUM LAUDE: (v) How students in southern universities call
dogs named "Laude."
-
D-MINUS: (n) A pretty good grade.
-
DORM: (n) Student residence located only a few
convenient miles from 8a.m. classes.
-
DORMROOM: (n) A small closet-like area inhabited by a pair of
incompatible people.
-
EDUCATION BUDGET: (n) Money you allocate each month for movies and
magazines.
-
EGGHEAD: 1) (n) A brainy student who studies all the time and
gets straight A's. 2) (n) That same student once you've dropped
eggs on him from the roof of the science lab.
-
EXTRA CREDIT: (n) What you wish you had on your credit card.
F: (n) A grade that can usually be altered to look like a "B"
on a test paper.
-
JUNIOR VARSITY: (n) The team that everybody supports, but
nobody goes to watch.
-
KAPPA: (n) What members of sororities or fraternities wear on
their headas.
-
KITCHENETTE: (n) A small, thin person working in the cafeteria kitchen.
-
KLUTZ: (n) What you discover your lab partner is when you ask him to
slowly pour the sulfuric acid into the beaker you're holding.
-
LAB: (n) A room full of icky, funny-looking creatures and the
dead frogs they dissect.
-
LETTERMEN: (n) Scholarship athletes who proudly wear letter sweaters
proclaiming the vowel or consonant they have mastered.
-
LIBERAL ARTS: (n)
See: "Would you like fries with that?"
-
LOUNGE: (n) Any area in a dorm,
union or classroom building where the only furniture that
isn't soiled, ripped or scarred is immediately stolen.
-
MAJOR: (n) Area of study that
no longer interests you.
-
MIDNIGHT OIL: (n) What you make popcorn in.
-
MISERY: (n) The sinking feeling you get when introduced to the person
your roomie
fixed you up with because "the two of you are so much alike."
-
NICKNAME:
(n) Generally, your own name with the suffix "ster" attached
in a forced awkward attempt at familiarity. E.g. "Bobster,
" "Hankster" or "Georgester." NO: (n) The response that
guys who will spend most of their time in the gym lifting
weights might put on a true/false test.
-
NUDE MODELS: (n) The reason for your sudden interest in art.
-
OFF-CAMPUS PARKING: (n) Ample extra parking usually found in
an adjoining county.
-
OTHELLO: (n) Unless you're an English major, who really cares??
-
OUT: (n) Where your roommate always is when one of the 35 clubs she
belongs to calls with a very important message.
-
PAPER: (n) Your version of Cliff Notes.
-
POSTER: (n) An inexpensive way to decorate a dormroom while
making people think you've been to foreign lands and done
things you never have.
-
PRE-LAW: (n) The major of a person who will end up in sales.
-
VICE SQUAD: (n) A group of uniformed officers who seem to be
under the impression that they were invited to your dorm party.
-
VENDING MACHINE : (n) A coin operated device for dispensing
breakfast, lunch and dinner.
-
VICTOR: (n) Your football team's weekly opponent.
-
VICTORY: (n) A rarity; a three syllable word that cheerleaders
CAN spell.
-
WEEKEND : (n) Two day period during which your growling stomach makes
you really wish you'd signed up for a seven day meal plan.
-
WHIZ KID: (n) Your college nickname. But not for the reason
people think.
-
WINDELLAS: (n) Name of the circus family you can run away
and join when your parents find out how much you put on their
charge card.
-
WINTER: (n) When the air conditioning in your dorm finally kicks in.
-
WORK-STUDY: (n) Two things not done by a majority of students.
-
WRISTWATCH: (n) That device on your arm that lets you know
which class you're currently late for.
-
X-RAY: (n) A medical technique that will display cafeteria
meatballs up to ten years after they're eaten.
-
XYLEM: (n) We're not going to tell you this. You should know
this. You took Biology, didn't you? (Were you asleep that
day or what?)
-
YALE: 1) (n) A well-known ivy league university.
2) (v) What southern cheerleaders do.
-
YEARBOOK: (n) A book containing student pictures that will
keep getting nerdier as the years go by.
-
YESTERDAY: (n) When the 12 page paper you started tonight was due.
-
YIELD SIGN: (n) Dormitory wall decoration you "purchased" around 3 in
the morning with the help of two buddies and a hammer.
-
ZEPPELIN: 1) (n) A large blimp. 2) (n) Still the best band for
playing air guitar in one's underwear.
-
ZERO: (n) The number of times you've gotten to eat most of the
pizza you ordered.
-
ZOO: (n) What dorms would look like if they were a little neater.
-
ZOOLOGY: (n) The study of animal life (See: "Frat boys at Homecoming").
[ Author Unknown -- from 'Aiken Drum' (Aiken@AikensLaughs.com) ]
Inspirational Humor
SkyWriting.Net
All Rights Reserved.
|