Computer Woman

Women of the computer world . . .

1. INTERNET WOMAN: It's not easy to get access to her and you may get cut off a lot.
   
   
2. SERVER WOMAN: She's always busy when you need her. Sends you cryptic messages.
   
   
3. WINDOWS WOMAN: Everybody knows she has a lot of problems, but nobody can live without her.
   
   
4. AOL WOMAN: Nobody can stand her quirks and rules for more than half an hour. But she will try hard not to let you go away.
   
   
5. EXCEL WOMAN: They say she can do lots of things, but you only use her for the 4 basic operations.
   
   
6. WORD WOMAN: She always has a surprise problem for you and there isn't anybody who really understands her.
   
   
7. D.O.S. WOMAN: There was a time when everybody needed her, but nobody wants her now. She can do a lot of interesting tricks, but nobody cares anymore.
   
   
8. BACKUP WOMAN: You think you have everything with her, but actually there is always something missing.
   
   
9. SCANDISK WOMAN: Deep inside she is only trying to help by trying to clean you up and change you, But actually nobody knows what she is really doing.
   
   
10. SCREENSAVER WOMAN: She is useless, but you have fun with her. She will frequently interrupt what you are doing if you don't set her straight.
    
    
11. PAINTBRUSH WOMAN: Easy to use, but nobody gets satisfied. She leaves you wanting more.
    
    
12. RAM WOMAN: She forgets everything as soon as she is unplugged.
    
    
13. HARD DISK WOMAN: She always remembers everything, and thinks she is always right even if her memory is corrupted.
    
    
14. MOUSE WOMAN: She is useful only when she is pushed and dragged. Tends to get dirty and sluggish.
    
    
15. MULTIMEDIA WOMAN: She makes everything look nice. Active and a lot of fun.
    
    
16. MICROSOFT WOMAN: She wants to dominate every man she meets. She'll try to convince you she's the best for you. She schemes how to make you get in trouble with other women. She promises you that she'll do whatever you want if you throw your girl friends' telephone numbers away. Suddenly, she will be the only one in your life. There will come a time when you will need her approval before you can open the fridge or you can take your car keys.
    
    
17. PASSWORD WOMAN: You think you're the only one who knows her, but actually everybody knows her.
    
    
18. MP3 WOMAN: Everybody wants to have her. She is so easy to get.
    
    
19. USER WOMAN: She does nothing right and she is always demanding more than she really needs.
    
    
20. ANALYST-PROGRAMMER WOMAN: She is always cooking, she is always mending, fixing you and tweaking you to be better and have fewer errors. Very controlling type.
    
    
21. CPU WOMAN: She has a great look outside, but she is empty inside. Takes a lot of time to get her the way you want her, and then she may suddenly freeze up and not communicate with you.
    
    
22. MONITOR WOMAN: She makes you see life in colorful ways. Passes many interesting things on to you.
    
    
23. CD-ROM WOMAN: She can do a lot of tricks if you take the time to communicate with her carefully. The younger ones are pretty fast and easy.
    
    
24. CONSULTANT WOMAN: She tells you everything except what you want to know. She is mostly talk and little action.
    
    
25. E-MAIL WOMAN: When she talks, at least 8 things out of 10 are strange, meaningless or spam.
    
    
26. VIRUS WOMAN: (ALSO KNOWN AS WIFE) When you least expect, she gets into your life, she stays and takes control of all your belongings. If you try to get rid of her, you lose many resources. But, if you don't, then you may lose everything.
    
    
27. YAHOO WOMAN: Lives by her own rules. Just when you thing you have a great relationship, she will cut you off cold without warning or explanation.
    
    
28. DEFRAG WOMAN: She like to come in and clean up your house, and your dishes, change your litter box and generally clean up your act. She does not talk much so let her do her work.
    
    
29. GROUP MODERATOR WOMEN: a very strange breed, all have their own rules about the way to live and do things, some are very quirky and arbitrary and even nasty if you don't behave as they think you should. Some are great fun to be with. No general rules about these.
    
    
30. MAC WOMAN: They have a superior attitude, which may or may not be justified. A minority group, they tend to seek other like minded people.

[ Author Unknown -- from 'Buffalos Chips' (buffalos-g-jokes.yahoogroups.com) ]