A Dictionary for Women

1. Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n. -- A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't realized it yet.
   
   
2. Airhead (er*hed) n. -- What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a policeman.
   
   
3. Bar-be-que (bar*bi*q) n. -- You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat, and cleaned everything up, but he "made the dinner".
   
   
4. Cantaloupe (kant*e*lope) n. -- Gotta get married in a church.
   
   
5. Childbirth (child*brth) n. -- You get to go through 36 hours of contractions; he gets to hold your hand and say "focus... breathe....push...."
   
   
6. Clothes dryer (kloze dri*yer) n. -- An appliance designed to eat socks.
   
   
7. Diet Soda (dy*it so*da) n. -- A drink you buy at a conven- ience store to go with a half pound bag of peanut M&M's.
   
   
8. Eternity (e*ter*ni*tee) n. -- The last two minutes of a football game.
   
   
9. Exercise (ex*er*siz) v. -- To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase.
   
   
10. Grocery list (grow*ser*ee list) n. -- What you spend half an hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store.
    
    
11. Hair Dresser (hare dres*er) n. -- Someone who is able to create a style you will never be able to duplicate again. See "Magician".
    
    
12. Hardware Store (hard*war stor) n. -- Similar to a black hole in space: if he goes in, he isn't coming out anytime soon.
    
    
13. Lipstick (lip*stik) n. -- On your lips, coloring to en- hance the beauty of your mouth. On his collar, coloring only a tramp would wear...!
    
    
14. Park (park) v./n. -- Before children, a verb meaning "to go somewhere and neck." After children, a noun meaning a place with a swing set and slide.
    
    
15. Patience (pa*shens) n. -- The most important ingredient for dating, marriage, and children. See also "tranquil- izers".
    
    
16. Valentine's Day (val*en*tinez dae) n. -- A day when you have dreams of a candlelight dinner, diamonds, and ro- mance, but consider yourself lucky to get a card.
    
    
17. Waterproof Mascara (wah*tr*pruf mas*kar*ah) n. -- Comes off if you cry, shower, or swim, but will not come off if you try to remove it.

[ Author Unknown -- from 'Buffalos Chips' (buffalos-g-jokes.yahoogroups.com) ]