Facts Of Life
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Nobody is perfect until you fall in love with them.
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The closest I ever got to a 4.0 in college was
my blood alcohol content.
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Home is where you can say anything you like,
'cause nobody listens to you anyway.
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I live in my own little world, but it's ok, they know
me here.
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"I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with
'Guess' on it. I said, 'Thyroid problem?'"
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It is when you stop believing in Santa Claus
that you start getting clothes for Christmas!
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Sign In Pet Store: "Buy one dog, regular price,
get one flea..."
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Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes
misery easier to live with.
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I don't have a big ego. I'm way too cool for that.
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If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport
the 'terminal'?
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I see your IQ test results were negative.
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Regular naps prevent old age.....especially if
you take them while driving.
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When I was born, I was so surprised I couldn't
talk for a year and a half.
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If G~d had intended for man to use the metric
system, Jesus would have only had ten disciples!
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I don't approve of political jokes...I've seen too
many of them get elected.
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If women can have PMS, then men can have ESPN.
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I have learned there is little difference in
husbands, so you might as well keep the first one.
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Travel is very educational. I can now say
"Kaopectate" in seven different languages.
[ Author Unknown -- from 'Joke du Jour' (JdJ@yahoogroups.com) ]
Inspirational Humor
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