Feline Physics
-
Law of Cat Inertia: A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest,
unless acted upon by some outside force such as the opening of cat
food, or a nearby scurrying mouse.
-
Law of Cat Motion: A cat will move in a straight line, unless
there's a really good reason to change direction.
-
Law of Cat Magnetism: All blue blazers and black sweaters attract
cat hair in direct proportion to the darkness of the fabric.
-
Law of Cat Thermodynamics: Heat flows from a warmer to a cooler
body, except in the case of a cat, in which case all heat flows to
the cat.
-
Law of Cat Stretching: A cat will stretch to a distance
proportional to the length of the nap just taken.
-
Law of Cat Sleeping: All cats must sleep with people whenever
possible, in a position as uncomfortable for the people involved as
is possible for the cat.
-
Law of Cat Elongation: A cat can make her body long enough to
reach just about any countertop that has anything remotely
interesting on it.
-
Law of Cat Acceleration: A cat will accelerate at a constant rate,
until he gets good and ready to stop.
-
Law of Dinner Table Attendance: Cats must attend all meals when
anything good is served.
-
Law of Rug Configuration: No rug may remain in its naturally flat
state for very long.
-
Law of Obedience Resistance: A cat's resistance varies in
proportion to a human's desire for it to do something.
-
First Law of Energy Conservation: Cats know that energy can
neither be created nor destroyed and will, therefore, use as little
energy as possible.
-
Second Law of Energy Conservation: Cats also know that energy can
only be stored by a lot of napping.
-
Law of Refrigerator Observation: If a cat watches a refrigerator
long enough, someone will come along and take out something good to
eat.
-
Law of Electric Blanket Attraction: Turn on an electric blanket
and a cat will jump into bed at the speed of light.
-
Law of Random Comfort Seeking: A cat will always seek, and
usually take over, the most comfortable spot in any given room.
-
Law of Bag / Box Occupancy: All bags and boxes in a given room
must contain a cat within the earliest possible nanosecond.
-
Law of Cat Embarrassment: A cat's irritation rises in direct
proportion to her embarrassment times the amount of human laughter.
-
Law of Milk Consumption: A cat will drink his weight in milk,
squared, just to show you he can.
-
Law of Furniture Replacement: A cat's desire to scratch furniture
is directly proportional to the cost of the furniture.
[ Author Unknown -- from 'Buffalos Chips' (buffalos-g-jokes.yahoogroups.com) ]
Inspirational Humor
SkyWriting.Net
All Rights Reserved.
|