For Lexophiles (lovers of words)
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A bicycle can't stand alone because it is two-tired.
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What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway.)
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Time flies like an arrow -- Fruit flies like a banana.
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A backward poet writes inverse.
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In a democracy, it's your vote that counts; In feudalism, it's your count that votes.
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If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.
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With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
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Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat minor.
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When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
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The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
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A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blown apart.
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You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
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He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
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A lot of money is tainted. 'Taint yours and 'taint mine.
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A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
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He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
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The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
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Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
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When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
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Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
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Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
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Acupuncture is a jab well done.
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Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.
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An optometrist fell into a lens grinding machine and made a spectacle of himself.
[ Author Unknown -- forwarded by JR, via 'Mike's Funnies' (www.mikeysFunnies.com) ]
Inspirational Humor
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