Funny Signs

1. Anesthesiologist's business card:
   
   When you care enough to sleep with the very best.
   
   
   
2. Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:
   
   Dr. Jones, at your cervix.
   
   
   
3. In a Podiatrist's office:
   
   Time wounds all heels.
   
   
   
4. On a Septic Tank Truck:
   
   Yesterday's Meals on Wheels
   
   
   
5. At a Proctologist's door:
   
   To expedite your visit please back in.
   
   
   
6. On a Plumber's truck:
   
   We repair what your husband fixed.
   
   
   
7. On another Plumber's truck:
   
   Don't sleep with a drip.  Call your plumber.
   
   
   
8. On a Church's Billboard:
   
   7 days without God makes one weak.
   
   
   
9. At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee :
   
   Invite us to your next blowout.
   
   
   
10. At a Towing company:
    
    We don't charge an arm and a leg.  We want tows.
    
    
    
11. On an Electrician's truck:
    
    Let us remove your shorts.
    
    
    
12. In a Non-Smoking Area:
    
    If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.
    
    
    
13. On a Maternity Room door:
    
    Push.  Push.  Push.
    
    
    
14. At an Optometrist's Office:
    
    If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.
    
    
    
15. On a Taxidermist's window:
    
    We really know our stuff.
    
    
    
16. On a Fence:
    
    Salesmen welcome!  Dog food is expensive!
    
    
    
17. At a Car Dealership:
    
    The best way to get back on your feet?  Miss a car payment.
    
    
    
18. Outside a Muffler Shop:
    
    No appointment necessary.  We hear you coming.
    
    
    
19. In a Veterinarian's waiting room:
    
    Be back in 5 minutes.  Sit!  Stay!
    
    
    
20. At the Electric Company
    
    We would be delighted if you send in your payment.  However, if you don't, you will be.
    
    
    
21. In a Restaurant window:
    
    Don't stand there and be hungry, Come on in and get fed up.
    
    
    
22. At a Propane Filling Station:
    
    Thank Heaven for little grills.
    
    
    
23. In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
    
    Drive carefully.  We'll wait.

[ Author Unknown -- from Diane Dean White ( Thelamb212 at aol.com ) ]