Gene Splicing Now A Reality

It seems that gene-splicing has become a reality. Now all those old jokes about crossing a parrot with a centipede are within the realm of possibility. Here are a few examples:

1. Cross an Indian monkey with a vine of the legume family and a plant with yellow cup-shaped flowers will give you Rhesus Peanut Buttercup.
   
   
2. Cross a Sasquatch and a baboon. It's a Sassoon that lurks in the suburbs at night, catches unwary women and styles their hair.
   
   
3. Cross an armadillo with a hammerhead shark and keep your fridge smelling fresh. It's an Arm & Hammerhead shark.
   
   
4. Cross a male grouse with a female dog and you get a bird dog that's always complaining, a Grouse-and-Bitch.
   
   
5. Cross a parrot with an alligator and when the Parrigator asks you for a cracker, you'd be well advised to give it one.
   
   
6. Cross a sheep dog and a baby of the carp family will get you a Shag-carpette.
   
   
7. Splice the genes of 63,360 inchworms and you get a Mile-worm.
   
   
8. An Impossabull is what you get when you make a three-way cross between an impala, a possum and a bull. It's a 2000 lb. antelope that hangs from trees and drops down on unsuspecting matadors.
   
   
9. Here's an interesting five-way cross. An Alaskan King Crab, a kingfisher, a jackrabbit, a jackass and a jackal gives you a Full House.
   
   
10. Cross a rabbit with an amoeba gives you an Amoebit. It can multiply and divide at the same time.
    
    
11. Cross a grasshopper and a hippopotamus, and you get a Grasshoppapotamus. It's a short-lived creature that can leap to tremendous heights... once.
    
    
12. A coyote and an ass. This results in a Doncoyote. An ass that brays at windmills and tilts at the moon.
    
    
13. Cross a lion and an ocelot and you get a political animal. It's a Lialot, close relative of the Cheetalot.
    
    
14. Cross a racehorse with a hog and you get a Thoroughpig.
    
    
15. Cross a sheep with a porcupine and you get a Sheepupine. It not only supplies you with wool but will also knit you a sweater.
    
    
16. Here's one from the sixties. It travels in packs, searching for grass and other kinds of dope. Cross a male sheep, a baby sheep, an Australian wild dog and a donkey. It's Aram-alam-ading-donk.
    
    
17. A combination of a lamprey eel and a baboon created at a famous American college gives you the Harvard Lampoon.
    
    
18. Two very dull fish, a grouper and a porgy produces some very interesting results. A Grouporgy.
    
    
19. A coward and a hyena gives you the laughing stock of the party, the Cowena.
    
    
20. Cross a snake with a canary and you get a bird that sings with a lisp. A Snary.
    
    
21. Cross a lamb with a camel to produce sweaters with bumps especially for the ladies, a Lamel.
    
    
22. Here's one from the flora domain. Cross the aloe and baby's breath to get the ingredients for the French aphrodisiac, the Aloebaby.
    
    
23. Cross a donkey with a Doberman and you get the Asspinscher, the dog who thinks he's a goose.
    
    
24. Incidentally, the cross between a parrot and a centipede mentioned earlier will get you a Walkie-talkie.

[ Author Unknown -- from 'Buffalos Chips' (buffalos-g-jokes.yahoogroups.com) ]