Golden Rules For Ensemble Playing
- Everyone should play the same piece.
- Stop at every repeat sign, and discuss in detail whether
to take the repeat. The audience will love this a lot!
- If you play a wrong note, give a nasty look to one of your
partners.
- Keep your fingering chart handy. You can always catch up
with the others.
- Carefully tune your instrument before playing. That way
you can play out of tune all night with a clear conscience.
- Take your time turning pages.
- The right note at the wrong time is a wrong note
(and vice versa).
- If everyone gets lost except you, follow those who
get lost.
- Strive to get the maximum NPS (notes per second). That
way you gain the admiration of the incompetent.
- Markings for slurs, dynamics and ornaments should not
be observed. They are only there to embellish the score.
- If a passage is difficult, slow down. If it's easy,
speed it up. Everything will work itself out in the end.
- If you are completely lost, stop everyone and say,
"I think we should tune."
- Happy are those who have not perfect pitch, for the
kingdom of music is theirs.
- If the ensemble has to stop because of you, explain in
detail why you got lost. Everyone will be very interested.
- A true interpretation is realized when there remains not
one note of the original.
- When everyone else has finished playing, you should
not play any notes you have left. If you have notes left
over, please play them on the way home.
- A wrong note played timidly is a wrong note. A wrong
note played with authority is an interpretation.
[ Author Unknown -- from 'Aiken Drum' (Aiken@AikensLaughs.com) ]
Inspirational Humor
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