Grandchildren
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She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the
watchful eyes of her young granddaughter as she'd done many times
before. After she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the
little one said, "But Gramma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper
good-bye!"
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My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy
Birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him, "62." He was
quiet for a moment, and then he asked, "Did you start at 1?"
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After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed
into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair.
As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her
patience grew thin. Finally, she threw a towel around her head and
stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern
warnings. As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say
with a trembling voice, "Who was THAT?"
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A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own
childhood was like: "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a
swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We
rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods." The little
girl was wide-eyed, taking this all in. At last she said, "I sure
wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"
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My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do
you know how you and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo
while I asked, "No, how are we alike?" "You're both old," he
replied.
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A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's
word processor. She told him she was writing a story. "What's it
about?" he asked. "I don't know," she replied. "I can't read."
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I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet ,
so I decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what
color it was. She would tell me and was always correct. It was fun
for me, so I continued. At last she headed for the door, saying
sagely, "Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these
yourself!"
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When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly
replied, "I'm not sure." "Look in your underwear, Grandpa," he
advised. "mine says I'm four to six."
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A second grader came home from school and said to her
grandmother, "Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies
today." The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep
her cool. "That's interesting," she said, "how do you make
babies?" "It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to
'i' and add 'es'."
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Children's Logic: "Give me a sentence about a public servant ,"
said a teacher. One of the small boys wrote: "The fireman came down
the ladder pregnant." The teacher took the lad aside to correct
him. "Don't you know what pregnant means?" she asked. "Sure," said
the young boy confidently. "It means carrying a child."
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When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we
kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting
pesky insects. Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them
before I did, Billy whispered, "It's no use, Grandpa. The mosquitoes
are coming after us with flashlights."
[ Author Unknown -- from 'Buffalos Chips' (buffalos-g-jokes.yahoogroups.com) ]
Inspirational Humor
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