Gulf Coast Living
You know you live on the Gulf Coast when:
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You have FEMA's number on your speed dialer.
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You have more than 300 'C' and 'D' batteries in your kitchen drawer.
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Your pantry contains more than 20 cans of Spaghetti Os.
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You are thinking of repainting your house to match the plywood covering
your windows.
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When describing your house to a prospective buyer, you say it has
three bedrooms, two baths and one safe hallway.
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Your SSN isn't a secret, it's written in Sharpie on your arms.
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You are on a first-name basis with the cashier at Home Depot.
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You are delighted to pay $3 for a gallon of regular unleaded.
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The road leading to your house has been declared a No-Wake Zone.
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You decide that your patio furniture looks better on the bottom of the pool.
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You own more than three large coolers.
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You can wish that other people get hit by a hurricane and not feel the
least bit guilty about it.
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You rationalize helping a friend board up by thinking "It'll only take a
gallon of gas to get there and back"
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You have 2-liter coke bottles and milk jugs filled with water in your
freezer
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Three months ago you couldn't hang a shower curtain; today you can
assemble a portable generator by candlelight.
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You catch a 13-pound redfish - in your driveway.
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You can recite from memory whole portions of your homeowner's insurance
policy.
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You consider a "vacation" to stunning Tupelo, Mississippi.
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At cocktail parties, women are attracted to the guy with the biggest
chainsaw.
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You have had tuna fish more than 5 days in a row.
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There is a roll of tar paper in your garage.
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You can rattle off the names of three or more meteorologists who work at
the Weather Channel.
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Someone comes to your door to tell you they found your roof.
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Ice is a valid topic of conversation.
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Your "drive-thru" meal consists of MRE's and bottled water.
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Relocating to South Dakota does not seem like such a crazy idea.
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You spend more time on your roof then in your living room.
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You've been laughed at over the phone by a roofer, fence builder or a
tree worker.
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A battery powered TV is considered a home entertainment center.
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You don't worry about relatives wanting to visit during the summer.
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Your child's first words are "hunker down" and you didn't go to Ole Miss!
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Having a tree in your living room does not necessarily mean it's
Christmas.
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Toilet Paper is elevated to coin of the realm at the shelters.
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You know the difference between the "good side" of a storm and the "bad side."
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Your kids start school in August and finish in July.
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You go to work early and stay late just to enjoy the air conditioning.
[ Author Unknown -- from 'Buffalos Chips' (bbrabant@sault.com) ]
Inspirational Humor
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