Home Remedies - Misc Info
WARNING: the following are for humor only!
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If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic.
Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto.
The blockage will be almost instantly removed.
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Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by
getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
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Avoid arguments with the little woman about lifting the toilet
seat by simply using the sink.
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For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed
for a few minutes, thus reducing pressure in your veins.
Remember to use a timer.
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A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent
you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the
snooze button.
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If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then
you will be afraid to cough.
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Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you
will forget about the toothache.
Things to remember . . .
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You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape.
If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40.
If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.
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Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
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Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.
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If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance.
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And finally, be really nice to your family and friends; you never
know when you might need them to empty your bedpan.
[ Author Unknown -- from Joyce Guy ]
Inspirational Humor
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