That's How The Fight Started....

My wife sat down by me as I flipped channels. She asked, "What's on TV?"
I said, "Dust."

And that's how the fight started....
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A few months after a "Mad Cow" epidemic in our area, I took my wife to a restaurant for dinner. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first. "I'll have the sirloin steak, rare, please." He said, sir, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"   "Nah, she can order for herself."

And that's how the fight started....
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My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.
I asked her, "Do you know him?" "Yes", she sighed, "He's my old boyfriend....
I understand he took to drinking right after we split-up many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since."   "WOW!" I said, "I've never heard of a person celebrating that long."

And that's how the fight started....
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When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat, making beer... My wife, tired of waiting, thought of a clever way to make her point. When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched her work for awhile, and then decided to get something in the house that would be appropriate. A few minutes later I returned, and handed her an old toothbrush.   I said, "Dear, when you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway and sidewalks." Fortunately, for me, the sewing scissor stab wounds were not fatal.

And that's how the fight started....
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Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked-up the boat to the van, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing really hard, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and found out that the weather would be bad all day. So, I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed... I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible." My loving wife of 5 years replied, "Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?"

And that's how the fight started....
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My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds." So, I bought her a bathroom scale.

And that's how the fight started......

[ Author Unknown -- from 'Bill Rayborn' (bills-punch-line@yahoogroups.com) ]