I'm a Senior Citizen

• I'm a Senior Citizen (which means I'm passed 50 - meaning.... I 'Passed' 50 at about 95 mph) There's some things you need to know.... Soon as I remember 'em I'll tell you what they are.
  
  
• I'm the Life of the Party.... even when it lasts 'till 7pm.
  
  
• However, I'm Usually interested in goin' home long before I get to where I'm goin'.
  
  
• I'm Smilin' all the time, cause I can't hear a word you're sayin'. I'm also good at tellin' Stories.... over and over and over again!
  
  
• I'm good on a trip for at least an hour, without my BenGay, Aspirin, Antacid.... I'm even good at opening Childproof caps.... With a Hammer!
  
  
• I'm for Sure aware that other people's Grandchildren aren't as bright as mine. Ever noticed that they're making Adults much Younger these days?
  
  
• I'm walking more..... (to the bathroom) and enjoying it less. I'm the first one to find that bathroom wherever I go.
  
  
• I'm Positive I did housework correctly before the Internet. And, I'm sure everything I can't find, is in a secure place.
  
  
• I'm a walking storeroom of facts..... I've just misplaced the storeroom.
  
  
• I'm now spending more time with my pillows than with my spouse and I'm awake Many Hours before my body allows me to get up.
  
  
• I'm in the *Initial* state of my Golden Years: SS, Cd's, IRA's, AARP. I've been wondering, If you're only as old as you feel, how could I still be alive since I 'passed' 50?
  
  
• I'm supporting all movements now.... by eating bran, prunes, raisins and chuggin' Geritol.
  
  
• I'm so cared for: long-term care, eye care, private care, dental care, and Medicare!
  
  
• I'm having trouble remembering simple words like..... duh....
  
  
• I'm wrinkled, saggy and lumpy, and that's just my right leg.
  
  
• I'm realizing that aging is not for sissies.
  
  
• I'm not Grouchy, I just don't like traffic, waiting, enemas, politicians.....
  
  
• I'm anti-everything now: anti-fat, anti-smoke, anti-noise, anti-inflammatory, and just generally antipodal. (Diametrically opposed; exactly opposite.)
  
  
• I'm a Senior Citizen, and I'm told I'm having the time of my Life!
  

[ Submitted by: Ruthie (Sugie01@aol.com) -- from Andy Chap ]