If You Love Somebody

1. THE ORIGINAL VERSION:
   If you love something,
   Set it free...
   If it comes back, it's yours,
   If it doesn't, it never was yours....
   
   
2. THE PESSIMIST VERSION:
   If you love somebody,
   Set her free ...
   If she ever comes back, she's yours,
   If she doesn't, well, as expected, she never was.
   
   
3. THE OPTIMIST VERSION:
   If you love somebody,
   Set her free ...
   Don't worry, she will come back.
   
   
4. THE SUSPICIOUS VERSION:
   If you love somebody,
   Set her free ...
   If she ever comes back, ask her why.
   
   
5. THE IMPATIENT VERSION:
   If you love somebody,
   Set her free ...
   If she doesn't comes back within some time limit,
   forget her.
   
   
6. THE PATIENT VERSION:
   If you love somebody,
   Set her free ...
   If she doesn't come back, continue to wait
   until she comes back ...
   
   
7. THE PLAYFUL VERSION:
   If you love somebody,
   Set her free ...
   * If she comes back, and if you love her still,
   set her free again, repeat *
   
   
8. THE LAWYER'S VERSION:
   If you love somebody,
   Set her free...
   Clause 1a of Paragraph 13a-1 in the second
   amendment of the Matrimonial Freedom Act clearly states that...
   
   
9. THE STATISTICIAN'S VERSION::
   If you love somebody,
   Set her free...
   If she loves you, the probability of her coming back is high
   If she doesn't, your relationship was improbable anyway.
   
   
10. THE POSSESSIVE VERSION:
    If you love somebody
    don't ever set her free.
    
    
11. THE MBA VERSION:
    If you love somebody
    set her free...
    instantaneously...
    and look for others simultaneously.
    
    
12. THE PSYCHOLOGIST'S VERSION:
    If you love somebody
    set her free...
    If she comes back, her super ego is dominant
    If she doesn't come, back her id is supreme
    If she doesn't go, she must be crazy.
    
    
13. THE FINANCE EXPERT VERSION:
    If you love somebody
    set her free...
    If she comes back, its time to look for fresh loans.
    If she doesn't, write her off as an asset gone bad.
    
    
14. THE MARKETING VERSION:
    If you love somebody
    set her free...
    If she comes back, she has brand loyalty
    If she doesn't, reposition the brand in new markets.
    

[ Author Unknown -- from 'Aiken Drum' (Aiken@AikensLaughs.com) ]