Kosher computers
I don't know if you know this, but you can now
purchase Kosher computers! They are made in
Israel by a company called DELL-SHALOM. The
price is so low... even with the shipping from
Israel! However, before you purchase a kosher
computer of your own, you should know that
there are some important changes from the
typical non-kosher computer you are used to,
such as:
-
The 'Start' button has been replaced with a
'Let's go!! I'm not getting any younger!' button.
-
You hear 'Hava Nagila' during startup.
-
The cursor moves from right to left.
-
When Spell-checker finds an error it prompts,
'Is this the best you can do?'
-
When you look at erotic images, your computer
says, 'If your mother knew you did this, she would
die.'
-
It comes with a 'monitor cleaning solution' from
Manischewitz that gets rid of all the 'schmutz und
drek.'
-
When running 'Scan Disk' it prompts you with
a 'You want I should fix this?' message.
-
After 20 minutes of no activity, your PC goes,
'Schloffen.'
-
The PC shuts down automatically at sundown
on Friday evenings.
-
It comes with two hard drives - one for
fleyshedik (business software) and one for
milchedik (games).
-
Instead of getting a 'General Protection Fault'
error, your PC now gets 'Ferklempt.'
-
The multimedia player has been renamed to
'Nu, so play my music already!'
-
When your PC is working too hard, you
occasionally hear a loud 'Oy Gevalt!'
-
Computer viruses can now be cured with
matzo ball soup!
-
When disconnecting external devices from
the PC, you are instructed to 'Remove the cable
from the PC's tuchus.'
-
After your computer dies, you have to
dispose of it within 24 hours.
-
But best of all, if you have a kosher computer,
you can't get SPAM!!
[ Author Unknown -- from 'Buffalos Chips' (buffalos-g-jokes.yahoogroups.com) ]
Inspirational Humor
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