Laws Of The Natural Universe
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LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR: After your hands
become coated with grease your nose will
begin to itch or you'll have to urinate.
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LAW OF THE WORKSHOP: Any tool, when
dropped, will roll to the least accessible
corner.
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LAW OF PROBABILITY: The probability of being
watched is directly proportional to the
stupidity of your act.
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LAW OF THE TELEPHONE: When you dial a
wrong number, you never get a busy signal.
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LAW OF THE ALIBI: If you tell the boss you
were late for work because you had a flat
tire, the very next morning you will have a
flat tire.
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VARIATION LAW: If you change lines (or traffic
lanes), the one you were in will start to move
faster than the one you are in now. (Works
every time!)
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BATH THEOREM: When the body is fully
immersed in water, the telephone rings.
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LAW OF CLOSE ENCOUNTERS: The probability
of meeting someone you know increases
when you're with someone you don't want
to be seen with.
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LAW OF THE RESULT: When you try to prove to
someone that a machine won't work, it will.
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LAW OF BIOMECHANICS: The severity of the itch
is inversely proportional to the reach.
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THEATRE RULE: At any event, the people whose
seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.
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LAW OF COFFEE: As soon as you sit down to
a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you
to do something which will last until the
coffee is cold.
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MURPHY'S LAW OF LOCKERS: If there are only
two people in a locker room, they will have
adjacent lockers.
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LAW OF DIRTY RUGS/CARPETS: The chances
of an open-faced jelly sandwich of landing
face down on a floor covering are directly
correlated to the newness and cost of the
carpet/rug.
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LAW OF LOCATION: No matter where you go,
there you are.
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LAW OF LOGICAL ARGUMENT: Anything is
possible if you don't know what you are
talking about.
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BROWN'S LAW: If the shoe fits, it's ugly.
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OLIVER'S LAW: A closed mouth gathers no
feet.
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WILSON'S LAW: As soon as you find a
product that you really like, they will
stop making it.
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LAW OF REALITY: Murphy was an optimist.
[ Author Unknown -- from 'Joke du Jour' © 1995 (JdJ-subscribe@yahoogroups.com) ]
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