Laws Of Work

1. If you can't get your work done in the first 24 hours, work nights.
   
   
2. Don't be irreplaceable: if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
   
   
3. It doesn't matter what you do, it only matters what you say you've done and what you're going to do.
   
   
4. After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.
   
   
5. The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.
   
   
6. Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
   
   
7. When the bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.
   
   
8. If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a fool about it.
   
   
9. Everything can be filed under "miscellaneous."
   
   
10. Never delay the ending of a meeting or the beginning of a cocktail hour.
    
    
11. If you are good, you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it.
    
    
12. If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.
    
    
13. When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.
    
    
14. The last person that quit or was fired will be held responsible for everything that goes wrong.

[ Author Unknown -- from 'Buffalos Chips' (buffalos-g-jokes.yahoogroups.com) ]