Things I Learned From A Hurricane
Learned during our last hurricane . . . .
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Coffee and frozen pizzas can be made on a BBQ grill.
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No matter how many times you flick the switch, lights
don't work without electricity.
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My car gets 23.21675 miles per gallon, EXACTLY (you can
ask the people in line who helped me push it).
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Kids can survive 4 days or longer without a video game
controller in their hand.
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Cats are even more irritating without power.
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He who has the biggest generator wins.
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Women can actually survive without doing their hair- you
just wish they weren't around you.
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A new method of non-lethal torture- showers without hot water.
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There are a lot more stars in the sky than most people thought.
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TV is an addiction and the withdrawal symptoms are painful - One day at a time, brother.
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A 7 lb bag of ice will chill 6-12 oz Budweiser's to a
drinkable temperature in 11 minutes, and still keep a
14 lb. turkey frozen for 8 more hours.
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There are a lot of dang trees around here.
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Flood plane drawings on some mortgage documents were seriously wrong.
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Aluminum siding, while aesthetically pleasing, is definitely not required.
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Crickets can increase their volume to overcome the sound of 14 generators.
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People will get into a line that has already formed without
having any idea what the line is for.
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When required, a Lincoln Continental will float, doesn't
steer well but floats just the same.
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Tele-marketers function no matter what the weather is doing.
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Cell phones work when land lines are down, but only as long
as the battery remains charged.
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27 of your neighbors are fed from a different transformer
than you, and they are quick to point that out!
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Hampers were not made to contain such a volume.
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If my store sold only ice, chainsaws, gas and generators... I'd be rich.
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Price of a can of soup rises 200% in a storm.
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Your water front property can quickly become someone else's fishing hole.
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Tree service companies are under appreciated.
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I learned what happens when you make fun of another states' blackout.
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MATH 101: 30 days in month, minus 6 days without power
equals 30% higher electric bill ?????
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Drywall is a compound word, take away the "dry" part and it's worthless.
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I can walk a lot farther than I thought.
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Water will indeed fill the Midtown tunnel if the floodgates
aren't shut during a flood. I was pretty sure that was true
but it has now been proven.
[ Author Unknown -- from 'Buffalos Chips' (buffalos-g-jokes.yahoogroups.com) ]
Inspirational Humor
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