Man-Flu Facts
Having been near paralyzed with a devastating bout of Man-Flu
this week, and receiving precisely no sympathy from any of my
female colleagues, I've decided it's time to dispel the myths
about this terrible affliction that smug women everywhere
seem all too eager to believe.
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Man-Flu is more painful than childbirth. This is an irrefutable
scientific fact -- based on a survey of over 100,000 men.
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Man-Flu is not 'just a cold'. It is a condition so severe that
the germs from a single Man-Flu sneeze could wipe out entire
tribes of people living in the rainforest. And probably loads of
monkeys too.
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Women do not contract Man-Flu. At worst they suffer from
what is medically recognized as a 'Mild Girly Sniffle' - which, if
a man caught, he would still be able to run, throw a ball, tear
the phone book in half and compete in all other kinds of manly
activities.
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Men do not 'moan' when they have Man-Flu. They emit
involuntary groans of agony that are entirely in proportion to
the unbearable pain they are in.
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Full recovery from Man-Flu will take place much quicker if
their simple requests for care, sympathy and regular cups of
tea are met. Is that really so much to ask? Florence Nightingale
would have done it
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More men die each year from MFN (Man-Flu Neglect) than
lots and lots of other things.
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Men suffering from Man-Flu want nothing more than to get
out of bed and come to work, but they are too selfless to risk
spreading this awful condition amongst their friends and
colleagues. In this sense, they are the greatest heroes this
country has ever known.
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In 1982 scientists managed to simulate the agonizing symptoms
of full blown Man-Flu in a female chimp. She became so ill that
her head literally fell off.
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Man-Flu germs are more powerful than He-Man, The
Thundercats and The A-Team combined. They are too strong
for weak, nasty tasting 'lady medicines' like Lemsip, so don't
bother trying to force them on a victim of Man-Flu.
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While it may seem like a Man-Flu sufferer is just lying around
enjoying 'Diagnosis Murder' it is a commonly recognized medical
fact that the exact pitch and frequency of Dick Van Dyke's voice
has remarkable soothing powers.
Every minute in this country one man is struck down by Man-Flu.
Women, all we ask is that each of you offers them a cup of tea,
some kind words and your undivided attention and care. Then
maybe, just maybe, we'll beat this monstrous disease together.
[ Author Unknown -- from 'Buffalos Chips' (buffalos-g-jokes.yahoogroups.com) ]
Inspirational Humor
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