Military Rules
US Marine Corps Rules:
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Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.
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Decide to be aggressive enough, quickly enough.
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Have a plan.
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Have a back-up plan, because the first one probably won't work.
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Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you meet
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Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun whose caliber does not start with a "4" in the description.
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Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life is expensive.
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Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. (Lateral and diagonal preferred.)
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Use cover or concealment as much as possible.
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Flank your adversary when possible. Protect yours.
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Always fight to win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose.
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In ten years nobody will remember the details of caliber, stance, or
tactics. They will only remember who lived.
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If you are not shooting, you should be communicating your intention
to shoot...
Navy SEAL's Rules:
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Look very cool in sunglasses.
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Kill every living thing within view.
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Adjust speedo.
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Check hair in mirror.
US Army Rangers Rules:
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Walk in 50 miles wearing 75 pound rucksack while starving.
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Locate individuals requiring killing.
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Request permission via radio from "Higher" to perform killing.
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Curse bitterly when mission is aborted.
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Walk out 50 miles wearing a 75 pound rucksack while starving.
US Army Rules:
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Curse bitterly when receiving operational order.
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Make sure there is extra ammo and extra coffee.
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Curse bitterly.
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Curse bitterly
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Do not listen to 2nd LT's. It can get you killed
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Curse bitterly
US Air Force Rules:
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Have a cocktail.
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Adjust temperature on air-conditioner.
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See what's on HBO.
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Ask "what is a gunfight?"
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Request more funding from Congress with a "killer" Power Point presentation.
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Wine and dine 'key' Congressmen, invite DOD and defense industry executives.
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Receive funding, set up new command and assemble assets.
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Declare the assets "strategic" and never deploy them operationally.
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Hurry to make 13:45 tee-time.
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Make sure the base is as far as possible from the conflict but close enough to have tax exemption.
US Navy Rules:
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Go to Sea.
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Drink Coffee.
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Deploy Marines...
[ Author Unknown -- from 'Buffalos Chips' (buffalos-g-jokes.yahoogroups.com) ]
Inspirational Humor
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