Missionaries

You know you've been a missionary too long if....

1. You can't answer the question, "Where are you from?"
   
   
2. You read National Geographic and recognize someone.
   
   
3. You have a time zone map next to your telephone.
   
   
4. You consider a city 500 km away to be "very close".
   
   
5. You watch nature documentaries, and think about how good that animal would taste if it were fried.
   
   
6. You can cut grass with a machete, but can't start a lawnmower.
   
   
7. You speak with authority on the subject of airline travel.
   
   
8. You read the international section before the comics.
   
   
9. You have friends from or in 29 different countries.
   
   
10. You sort your friends by continent.
    
    
11. Fitting 15 or more people into a car seems normal to you.
    
    
12. You refer to gravel roads as highways.
    
    
13. You haggle with the checkout clerk for a lower price.
    
    
14. You don't think that two hours is a long sermon.
    
    
15. You marvel at the cleanliness of gas station bathrooms.
    
    
16. You think you've died and gone to heaven when you go into a foreign grocery store.
    
    
17. You think a "foreign school" conducts classes in English.
    
    
18. You attend a church with a roof on it and feel like you are cut off from Heaven.
    
    
19. You think something is missing if you have a meal without brown beans or brown rice.
    
    
20. You've ever chiseled open a barrel from home, not having a clue what might be inside.
    

[ Alan Smith, Boone Church of Christ (Boone, NC) -- from Keith Todd ]