Murphy's Laws for Law Enforcement
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Bullet Proof' vests aren't.
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The bigger they are, the harder they fall. They also punch,
kick and choke harder too.
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The speed at which you respond to a fight call is inversely
proportional to how long you've been a cop.
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Tear gas works on cops too, and regardless of wind
direction, will always blow back in your face.
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High speed chases will always proceed from an area of light
traffic to an area of extremely heavy traffic.
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If you know someone who tortures animals and wets the bed,
he is either a serial killer or he works for Internal Affairs.
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Placing a gun back in a shoulder holster with your finger on the
trigger will cause you to walk with a limp.
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Flash hiders don't really.
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If you have `cleared' all the rooms and met no resistance, you
and your entry team have probably kicked in the door of the wrong house.
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If a cop swings a baton in a fight, he will hit other cops
more often than he will hit the bad guys he swings at.
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Domestic arguments will always migrate from an area of few available
weapons (living room), to an area with many available weapons (kitchen).
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If you have just punched out a handcuffed prisoner for
spitting at you, you are about to become a star on `Eyewitness News'.
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Bullets work on veteran cops too. They also work on weight lifters,
martial arts experts, department marksmen, Vice cops, S.W.A.T. jocks,
and others who consider themselves immortal.
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When a civilian sees a blue light approaching at a high rate
of speed, he will always pull into the lane the cop needs to use.
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If you drive your patrol car to the geometric center of the Gobi
Desert, within five minutes some dumb civilian will pull along side
you and ask for directions.
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You can never drive slow enough to please the citizens who don't need
a cop, and you can never drive fast enough to please the ones who do.
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17.Any suspect with a rifle is a better shot than any cop with a pistol.
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From behind you, the bad guys can see your night sights as well as
you can.
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On any call, there will always be more `bad guys' than there are
good guys, and the farther away your back-up, the more there will be.
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The longer you've been a cop, the shorter your flashlight and your
temper gets.
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Whatever you are about to do, if there is a good chance it will get
you killed, you probably shouldn't do it.
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You should never do a shotgun search of a dark warehouse with a cop
whose nickname is "Boomer".
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The better you do your job, the more likely you are to be shot,
injured, complained on, sued, investigated, or subpoenaed on your day
off.
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If a large group of drunk bikers is "holed-up" in a house, the
Department will send one officer in a beat car. If there is one biker
"holed-up" in a house, they will send the entire S.W.A.T. Team.
[ Author Unknown -- from 'Aiken Drum' (Aiken@AikensLaughs.com) ]
Inspirational Humor
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