Murphy's Church Laws

• Film projectors always work before the class meeting begins.
  
  
• The probability of the preacher tripping over the mike cord is greater on "Bring A Friend" Sunday than any other week.
  
  
• The largest Bible Class will show up when the teacher feels his/her worst.
  
  
• No matter how many bulletins you print, you'll always need one more.
  
  
• A member living 15 miles away will be 15 minutes early; Members living two blocks will be 15 minutes late.
  
  
• Saying "Let us Pray" or singing "Just as I Am" causes babies to cry.
  
  
• The shorter the agenda, the longer the business meeting.
  
  
• Business meetings ALWAYS last at least 15 minutes longer than they should. (So do some sermons)
  
  
• Church committees should be made up of three members, two of whom should be absent at every meeting. (William Spurgeon)
  
  
• When you answer the Bible teacher's question right, nobody remembers; when you are wrong, nobody forgets.
  
  
• The longest Scripture readings always come with the longest sermons.
  
  
• The furnace only fails when the outside temperature is more than 20 degrees below zero. The air conditioner only fails when the outside temperature is 90 degrees or above.
  
  
• When the preacher misspeaks in a sermon, at least half of those taking notes will write the remark down as an important thought from the sermon.
  

[ Garden City Church of Christ Bulletin -- from Georgia L. Boring, via Keith Todd ]