No Excuse Sunday
( Dedicated to missing church attendees! )
To make it possible for everyone to attend church this Sunday, we are
going to have a special "No Excuse Sunday":
Cots will be placed in the foyer for those who say, "Sunday is my only
day to sleep in."
There will be a special section with lounge chairs for those who feel
that our pews are too hard.
Eye drops will be available for those with tired eyes from watching TV
late Saturday night.
We will have steel helmets for those who say, "The roof would cave in if
I ever came to church."
Blankets will be furnished for those who think the church is too cold,
and fans for those who say it is too hot.
Scorecards will be available for those who wish to list the hypocrites
present.
Relatives and friends will be in attendance for those who can't go to
church and cook dinner, too.
We will distribute "Stamp Out Stewardship" buttons for those that feel
the church is
always asking for money.
One section will be devoted to trees and grass for those who like to
seek God in nature.
Doctors and nurses will be in attendance for those who plan to be sick
on Sunday.
The sanctuary will be decorated with both Christmas poinsettias and
Easter lilies for those who never have seen the church without them.
We will provide hearing aids for those who can't hear the preacher and
cotton for the ears of those who think he's too loud!
Hope to see you there!
[ Author Unknown -- Submitted by: Tanya Foster ]