Not Much Worth Mentioning . . .

A rich man was returning home after a lengthy trip, and was met by his butler at the airport. The following conversation took place on their way to his home:

"So, has anything happened while I've been away?"

"No, sir, I can't think of anything at all worth mentioning."

"Come now, I've been away for months. Surely something must have happened in all that time."

"Well, sir, come to think of it, your dog died."

"My dear Clyde died? How awful! Still, he was getting on in years, and I suppose it had to happen some time. How did he die?"

"The vet said it was probably from eating the rotten meat."

"The rotten meat? Since when do we leave rotten meat lying around for the dog to eat?"

"Well, it was the dead horses, sir. They'd been rotting for some time after the barn burned down."

"Good Lord! How in the world did the barn burn down?"

"It must have been some embers that blew over from the house, sir."

"The house? The house burned down, too? How did the house burn down?"

"Well, sir, we think someone must have knocked over a candle."

"Oh. A candle? Wait a moment - did the power go off? Why were candles being used?"

"They were being used for the wake, sir."

"The wake?!? Whose wake? For pity's sake..."

"Actually, your mother's, sir. She passed away quite suddenly."

"Oh my Lord. Mother is dead. The house is gone, along with the stable. Even my dog is dead. What did Mother die of?"

"It must have been the shock, sir."

"The shock."

"Yes, sir, the shock. When your wife ran off with the handyman the day after you left, sir.

But aside from all that, it's been fairly quiet while you've been away, sir."

[ Author Unknown (LaVonne ?) -- from 'Arizona Humor' -- Ed:anon. ]