Now That I'm Older.

Here's what I've discovered:

• I started out with nothing, I still have most of it.
  
  
• My wild oats have turned to prunes and All Bran.
  
  
• I finally got my head together, now my body is falling apart.
  
  
• Funny, I don't remember being absent minded.
  
  
• All reports are in. Life is now officially unfair.
  
  
• If all is not lost, where is it?
  
  
• It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
  
  
• Some days you're the dog, some days you're the hydrant.
  
  
• I wish the buck stopped here. I sure could use a few ...
  
  
• It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
  
  
• The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom.
  
  
• When I'm finally holding all the cards, why does everyone decide to play chess?
  
  
• It's not hard to meet expenses ... they're everywhere.
  
  
• The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
  
  
• If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees.
  

[ Author Unknown -- from John Traver ]