The Parachute Paradigm
You are one of "two" people on a malfunctioning airplane with only
one parachute. How would you react?
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Pessimist: you refuse the parachute because you might die on the
jump anyway.
-
Optimist: you refuse the parachute because people have survived
crashes just like this before.
-
Procrastinator: you play a game of Monopoly for the parachute.
-
Bureaucrat: you order them to conduct a feasibility study on
parachute use in multi-engine aircraft under code red conditions.
-
Lawyer: you charge one parachute for helping them sue the airline.
-
Doctor: you tell them you need to run more tests, then take the
parachute in order to make your next appointment.
-
Sales executive: you sell them the parachute at top retail rates and
get the names of their friends and relatives who might like one too.
-
Internal Revenue Service: you confiscate the parachute along with
their luggage, wallet, and gold fillings.
-
Engineer: you make them another parachute out of aisle curtains and
dental floss.
-
Scientist: you give them the parachute and ask them to send you a
report on how well it worked.
-
Mathematician: you refuse to accept the parachute without proof that
it will work in all cases.
-
Philosopher: you ask how they know the parachute actually exists.
-
English major: you explicate simile and metaphor in the parachute
instructions.
-
Computer Science: you design a machine capable of operating a
parachute as well as a human being could.
-
Economics: you plot a demand curve by asking them, at regular
intervals, how much they would pay for a parachute.
-
Psychoanalysis: you ask them what the shape of a parachute reminds
them of.
-
Drama: you tie them down so they can watch you develop the character
of a person stuck on a falling plane without a parachute.
-
Art: you hang the parachute on the wall and sign it.
-
Environmentalist: you refuse to use the parachute unless it is
biodegradable.
-
Sports Fan: you start betting on how long it will take to crash.
-
Auto Mechanic: as long as you are looking at the plane engine, it
works fine.
-
Surgeon General: you issue a warning that skydiving can be hazardous
to your health.
-
Association of Tobacco Growers: you explain very patiently that despite
a number of remarkable coincidences, studies have shown that jumping
out of a plane is NOT harmful to your health.
[ Author Unknown -- from 'Aiken Drum' (AIKENSLongJoke@topica.com) ]
Inspirational Humor
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