Paraprosdokians Examples
A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter
part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in
a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or
reinterpret the first part. Check out the following for
examples:
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I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that
way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
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Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his
level and beat you with experience.
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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.
Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
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Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than
standing in a garage makes you a car.
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The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on
the list.
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If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
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We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
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War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
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Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not
putting it in a fruit salad.
-
The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse
always gets the cheese.
-
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where
a train stops. On my desk, I have a workstation.
-
Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity,
they can train people to stand on the very edge of a pool
and throw them fish.
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I thought I wanted a career, but it turns out I just wanted
paychecks.
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Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says,
"In an emergency, notify:" I always put, "DOCTOR."
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I didn't say it was your fault; I said I was blaming you.
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Why does someone believe you when you say there are four
billion stars, but always check when you say the paint is
wet?
-
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down
the street with a bald head and a beer gut and still think
they are sexy.
-
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
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You do not need a parachute to skydive. You definitely need
a parachute to skydive twice.
-
The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some
darned good ideas!
-
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it
back.
-
Hospitality: Making your guests feel like they're at home,
even if you wish they were.
-
I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be
devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed
touches my foot.
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There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone
down so they can't get away.
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I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
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When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire
Department usually uses water.
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You're never too old to learn something stupid.
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To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call
whatever you hit the target.
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Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
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Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others
have no imagination whatsoever.
-
A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are
after it as when you are in it.
[ Author Unknown -- Received from Becky, via 'Good Clean Funnies List' (gcfl-info@gcfl.net) ]
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