Police Comments
These 16 Police Comments were taken off actual police car videos
around the country:
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16 - 'You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you
just went through.'
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15 - 'Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll
stretch after you wear them a while.'
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14 - 'If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth
certificate a worthless document.'
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13 - 'If you run, you'll only go to jail tired.'
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12 - 'Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the
speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you.'
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11 - 'You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can
write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?'
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10 - 'Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't
think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift
supervisor?'
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9 - 'Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I'm warning you not to do that
again or I'll give you another ticket.'
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8 - 'The answer to this last question will determine whether you are
drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?'
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7 - 'Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you
go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in
monkey poop.'
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6 - 'Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a
toaster oven.'
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5 - 'In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC.'
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4 - 'How big were those - 'two beers' you say you had?'
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3 - 'No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're
allowed to write as many tickets as we can.'
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2 - 'I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend
of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail.'
AND THE WINNER IS....
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1 - 'You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we
don't. Sign here.'
[ Author Unknown -- from 'Buffalos Chips' (buffalos-g-jokes.yahoogroups.com) ]
Inspirational Humor
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