Proposal Information

When to Propose . . . Or Not . . .

Men who can answer "yes" to five or more of these questions should consider carefully before proposing marriage.

1. In the kitchen, has she ever referred to an oven as "that square thing?"
   
   
2. Does she use the phrase "you know" more than twice per sentence?
   
   
3. Is she making monthly payments of more than $300 to a plastic surgeon.
   
   
4. Have you noticed her name tattoed on three or more local bikers?
   
   
5. Have you noticed three or more local bikers' names tattooed on her?
   
   
6. Does she have a wholesale source for Deodorant-in-a-Drum?
   
   
7. Has she ever used the word poo-poo?
   
   
8. If forced to use it at all, does she choose to spell the word sex?

When to Accept a Proposal . . . Or Not . . .

Women who can answer "yes" to five or more of these questions should consider carefully before accepting a proposal of marriage

1. On his first date with you, did he pick you up early so you could help with his laundry?
   
   
2. To reach him in an emergency, would anyone think to call the local adult bookstore?
   
   
3. Has he ever bragged about seeing every episode of "Gilligan's Island" at least four times?
   
   
4. Is it unclear to some people whether that's a mustache or just a lot of unruly nose hair?
   
   
5. Is his idea of a classy restaurant one where every table has its own stack of ketchup packets?
   
   
6. Does his car get more than sixty miles per gallon?
   
   
7. Does the label on his deodorant include the phrase "Industrial Strength?"
   
   
8. Has he memorized the telephone number of at least one bail-bondsman.

[ Author Unknown -- from 'Buffalos Chips' (buffalos-g-jokes.yahoogroups.com) ]