Resume Mistakes
How bad a mistake can you make on your resume? Here are
some real-life examples:
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"My intensity and focus are at inordinately high levels,
and my ability to complete projects on time is unspeakable."
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"Education: Curses in liberal arts, curses in
computer science, curses in accounting."
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"Personal: Married, 1992 Chevrolet."
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"I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse."
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"I am a rabid typist."
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"Created a new market for pigs by processing, advertising
and selling a gourmet pig mail order service on the side."
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"Exposure to German for two years, but many words are not
appropriate for business."
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"Proven ability to track down and correct erors."
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"Personal interests: Donating blood. 15 gallons so far."
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"I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely
nothing and absolutely no one."
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"References: None, I've left a path of destruction behind me."
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"Strengths: Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining
composer."
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"Don't take the comments of my former employer too
seriously, they were unappreciative beggars and slave drivers."
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"My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I possess
no training in meteroology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage."
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"I procrastinate--especially when the task is unpleasant."
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"I am loyal to my employer at all costs ..Please feel
free to resond to my resume on my office voicemanil."
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"Qualifications: No education or experience."
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"Disposed of $2.5 billion in assets."
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"Accomplishments: Oversight of entire department."
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"Extensive background in accounting. I can also stand on my
head!"
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Cover letter: "Thank you for your consideration. Hope to
hear from you shorty!"
[ Author Unknown -- from 'Buffalos Chips' (buffalos-g-jokes.yahoogroups.com) ]
Inspirational Humor
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