School Employees
Jeff Foxworthy on School Employees . . .
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You might be a school employee if you believe the playground should
be equipped with a Ritalin salt lick.
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You might be a school employee if you want to slap the next person
who says, "Must be nice to work from 8 to 3:30 and have summers
off."
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(This is my personal favorite). You might be a school employee if
it is difficult to name your own child because there's no name you
can come up with that doesn't bring high blood pressure as it is
uttered.
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You might be a school employee if you can tell it's a full moon or
if it's going to rain, snow, hail...anything!!! without ever
looking outside.
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You might be a school employee if you believe, "shallow gene pool"
should have its own box on a report card.
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You might be a school employee if you believe that unspeakable evils
will befall you if anyone says, "Boy, the kids sure are mellow
today."
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You might be a school employee if when out in public, you feel the
urge to snap your fingers at children you do not know and correct
their behavior.
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You might be a school employee if you have no social life between
August and June.
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You might be a school employee if you think people should have a
government permit before being allowed to reproduce.
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You might be a school employee if you wonder how some parents
MANAGED to reproduce.
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You might be a school employee if you laugh uncontrollably when
people refer to the staff room as the "lounge".
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You might be a school employee if you encourage an obnoxious parent
to check into charter schools or home schooling and are willing to
donate the U-HAUL boxes should they decide to move out of district.
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You might be a school employee if you think caffeine should be
available in intravenous form.
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You might be a school employee if you can't imagine how the ACLU
could think that covering your students' chairs with Velcro and then
requiring uniforms made out of the corresponding Velcro could ever
be misunderstood by the public.
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You might be a school employee if meeting a child's parent instantly
answers this question, "Why is this kid like this?"
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You might be a school employee if you would choose a mammogram over
a parent conference.
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You might be a school employee if you think someone should invent
antibacterial pencils and crayons...and desks and chairs for that
matter!
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You might be a school employee if the words "I have a college debt
for this?" has ever come out of your mouth.
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You might be a school employee if you know how many days, minutes,
and seconds are left in the school year!
[ Jeff Foxworthy -- from 'Buffalos Chips' (buffalos-g-jokes.yahoogroups.com) ]
Inspirational Humor
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