Technologically Challenged Senior
At a certain age, everyone will understand this poor guy . . .
I thought about the 30 year business I ran with 1800 employees,
all without a Blackberry that played music, took videos, pictures
and communicated with Facebook and Twitter.
I signed up under duress for Twitter and Facebook,
so my seven kids, their spouses, 13 grand
kids and 2 great grand kids could communicate with me
in the modern way. I figured I could handle something as
simple as Twitter with only 140 characters of space.
That was before one of my grand kids hooked me up for Tweeter, Tweetree,
Twhirl, Twitterfon, Tweetie and Twittererific Tweetdeck,
Twitpix and something that sends every message to my cell phone and
every other program within the texting world.
My phone was beeping every three minutes with the details of
everything except the bowel movements of the entire next generation.
I am not ready to live like this.
I keep my cell phone in the garage in my golf bag.
The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday because they say
I get lost every now and then going over to the grocery store or library.
I keep that in a box under my tool bench with the Blue tooth [it's red]
phone I am supposed to use when I drive.
I wore it once and was standing in line at Barnes and Noble
talking to my wife as everyone in the nearest 50 yards
was glaring at me.
Seems I have to take my hearing aid out to use it
and I got a little loud.
I mean the GPS looked pretty smart on my dash board,
but the lady inside was the most annoying,
rudest person I had run into in a long time..
Every 10 minutes, she would sarcastically say, "Re-calc-ul-ating"
You would think that she could be nicer.
It was like she could barely tolerate me.
She would let go with a deep sigh
and then tell me to make a U-turn at the next light.
Then when I would make a right turn instead, it was not good.
When I get really lost now,
I call my wife and tell her the name of the cross streets
and while she is starting to develop the same tone as Gypsy,
the GSP lady, at least she loves me.
To be perfectly frank,
I am still trying to learn how to use the cordless phones in our
house. We have had them for 4 years, but I still haven't
figured out how I can lose three phones all at once and have to
run around digging under chair cushions and checking
bathrooms and the dirty laundry baskets when the phone
rings.
The world is just getting too complex for me.
They even mess me up every time I go to the grocery store.
You would think they could settle on
something themselves but this sudden "Paper or Plastic?"
every time I check out just knocks me for a loop.
I bought some of those cloth reusable bags to avoid looking
confused, but I never remember to take them in with me.
Now I toss it back to them. When they ask me,
"Paper or Plastic?"
I just say,
"Doesn't matter to me. I am bi-sacksual.."
Then it's their turn to stare at
me with a blank look.
"Learn to enjoy every minute of your life.
Be happy now. Don't wait for something
outside of yourself to make you happy in
the future. Think how really precious is
the time you have to spend, whether it's
at work or with your family. Every minute
should be enjoyed and savored."
~ Earl Nightingale ~
[ Author Unknown -- from Helen and Hart Dowd (http://occupytillicome.com) ]
Inspirational Humor
SkyWriting.Net
All Rights Reserved.
|