Ten Ways To Terrorize A Telemarketer
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When they ask "How are you today?" Tell them! "I'm so glad you
asked because no one these days seems to care, and I have all
these problems; my arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my
dog just died."
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If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell
their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask
them where it is located. Continue asking them personal questions
or questions about their company for as long as necessary.
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Cry out in surprise, "Judy! Is that you? Oh my God! Judy, how
have you been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments
of pause as she tries to figure out where the hell she could know you
from.
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If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends
plan, reply, in as SINISTER a voice as you can, "I don't have any
friends... would you be my friend?"
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If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for
bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.
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Tell the telemarketer you are on "home arrest" and ask if they
could bring you a case of beer and some chips.
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After the telemarketer gives their spiel, ask him/her to marry you.
When they get all flustered, tell them that you could not just give your
credit card number to a complete stranger.
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Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask them if
they will give you their HOME phone number so you can call them
back. When the telemarketer explains that they cannot give out their
HOME number, you say "I guess you don't want anyone bothering
you at home, right?" The telemarketer will agree and you say, "Now
you know how I feel!"
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Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke.
"Come on Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your momma?"
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And first and foremost: Tell them to talk VERY SLOWLY, because
you want to write EVERY WORD down.
[ Author Unknown -- from 'keepAhead' ]
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