The Bricklayer
If you think you had a bad day, you might want to consider
the story of the Bricklayer who won't be working for
a while -- you probably wouldn't want to trade places. This
story was [reportedly] printed in the newsletter of the British
equivalent of the Workers Compensation Board. So here is this
Bricklayer's explanation of his injuries.
Dear Sir:
I am writing in response to your request for additional
information in Block #3 of the accident reporting form. I put
"Poor Planning" as the cause of my accident. You asked for a
more complete explanation and I trust the following details
will be sufficient.
I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was
working alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I
completed my work, I found I had some bricks left over which,
when weighed later, were found to weigh 240 lbs. Rather than
carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a
barrel by using a pulley which was attached to the side of
the building at the sixth floor.
Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof,
swung the barrel out, and loaded the bricks into it. Then I
went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to insure a
slow descent of the 240 lbs of bricks. You will note on the
accident reporting form that my weight is 135 lbs.
Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so
suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of
the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the
side of the building.
In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel which
was now proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed.
This explains the fractured skull, minor abrasions, and the
broken collarbone, as listed in Section 3, accident reporting
form.
Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not
stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles
deep into the pulley which I mentioned in Paragraph 2 of this
correspondence. Fortunately, by this time I had regained my
presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in
spite of the excruciating pain I was now beginning to
experience.
At approximately the same time however, the barrel of bricks
hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now
devoid of the weight of the bricks, the barrel weighed
approximately 50 lbs.
I refer you again to my weight. As you might imagine, I began
a rapid descent down the side of the building. In the
vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This
accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and
severe lacerations of my legs and lower body.
Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the
barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I
fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only three
vertebrae were cracked.
I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of
bricks, in pain, unable to move and watching the empty barrel
six stories above me, I again lost my composure and presence
of mind and let go of the rope. And then ....
Note: I doubt that this is a true story -- it sounds more like a cartoon.
I certainly don't feel we should laugh at someone else's misfortune.
[ Author Unknown -- from 'The Twisted Straw' ]
Inspirational Humor
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