The Toughest Decision
The Toughest Decision: Should My Loved One Be Placed In An Assisted
Computing Facility?
For family members, it is often the most difficult and painful decision
they will face: to accept that a loved one - a parent, a spouse, perhaps a
sibling - is technologically impaired and should no longer be allowed to live
independently, or come near a computer or electronic device without direct
supervision. The time has come to place that loved one into the care of an
Assisted Computing Facility.
But you have questions. So many questions. We at Silicon Pines want to help.
WHAT EXACTLY IS AN "ASSISTED COMPUTING FACILITY?"
Sometimes referred to as "Homes for the Technologically Infirm,"
"Technical Invalid Care Centers," or "Homes for the Technically Challenged,"
Assisted Computing Facilities (ACFs) are modeled on assisted living
facilities, and provide a safe, structured residential environment for those
unable to handle even the most common, everyday multitasks. Most fully
accredited ACFs, like Silicon Pines, are an oasis of hope and encouragement
that allow residents to lead productive, technologically relevant lives
without the fear and anxiety associated with actually having to understand or
execute the technologies themselves.
WHO SHOULD BE IN AN ACF?
Sadly, technology is advancing at such a dramatic rate that many millions,
of all ages, will never truly be able to understand it, putting an undue
burden on those friends and family members who must explain it to them. But
unless the loved one is suffering from a truly debilitating affliction, such
as Reinstallzheimers, the decision to commit is entirely personal. You must
ask yourself: "How frustrated am I that my parent/sibling/spouse is unable to
open an email attachment?"
"How much of my time should be taken up explaining how RAM is different
from hard drive memory?" "How many times can I bear to hear my dad say, 'Hey,
can I replace the motherboard with a fatherboard? Ha ha ha!'" To make things
easier, we have prepared a list of Warning Signs which we encourage you to
refer to often, or, if you can't figure out how to bookmark it, print it out. Also, please
take a moment to read "I'm Glad I'm in Here! - A Resident's Story."
MUST IT BE FAMILY, OR CAN I PLACE ANYONE IN AN ACF?
Several corporations have sought permission to have certain employees, or at
times entire sales departments, committed to ACFs. At present, however,
individuals can be committed only by direct family or self-internment. The
reason is simple: there are not nearly enough ACFs in the world to
accommodate all the technologically challenged. For example, there are
currently only 860,000 beds available in ACFs, but there are 29 million AOL
users.
HOW MUCH WILL IT COST?
ACF rents range from free up to $12,500 per month. The disparity is
currently a point of contention in the ACF industry. Many residents are
covered through government programs such as Compuaid or Compucare, but
reimbursement rates are low and only cover a portion of the fees.
Exacerbating the situation are the HMOs (HelpDesk Maintenance
Organizations), which often deny coverage, forcing residents to pay out of
pocket or turn to expensive private tech-care insurers such as
BlueCache/BlueScreen. Offsetting the costs are technology companies
themselves, many of which subsidize ACFs. Firms such as Microsoft, Dell,
Qualcomm, and America Online will pay up to 100 percent of a resident's
monthly bill, but there is a catch. ISPs, for instance, require residents to
sign service contracts lasting a year or more.
Microsoft, meanwhile, prohibits the installation of any competitive
software, while Price-line requires that residents buy shares of its stock,
which seems onerous, but saves residents on lavatory tissue.
HOW OLD MUST I BE TO HAVE SOMEONE COMMITTED?
Until very recently, you had to be 18 or older to legally commit a family
member. However, the now famous British court case Frazier vs.
Frazier and Frazier has cleared the way for minors to commit their parents.
In that case, 15-year-old Bradley Frazier of Leicester had his 37-year-old parents
committed to an ACF in Bournemouth after a judge ruled Ian and Janet Frazier
were a "danger to themselves and the community." According to court records,
Bradley told his parents about the "I Love You" virus and warned them not to click on any
attachments, then the next day his parents received an "I Love You" email and
clicked on the attachment because, they explained, "It came from someone we
know."
WHAT SHOULD I LOOK FOR IN AN ACF?
First, make sure it's a genuine Assisted Computing Facility, and not an
Assisted Living Facility. To tell the difference, observe the residents.
If they look rather old and tend to openly discuss bowel movements, this is
probably 'assisted living.' On the other hand, if they vary in age and say
things like, "I'm supposed to figure that out? I'm not Bill Gates, you know!"
this is probably 'assisted computing'.
Also, at a well-run ACF, residents should lead full, independent lives, and
should be allowed the use of many technology devices, including telephones,
electric toothbrushes, and alarm clocks. However, only a facility's Licensed
Tech-care Professionals (LTPs) should perform computational or technological
tasks such as installing programs or saving email attachments. And LTPs
should NEVER answer residents' questions because studies have shown that
answering user questions inevitably makes things worse. Instead, residents
should simply have things done for them, relieving them of the pressure to
"learn" or "improve."
CAN A RESIDENT EVER GET OUT?
No.
OK, THIS SOUNDS PROMISING. HOW CAN I LEARN MORE?
For your enlightenment, we offer extensive information on Silicon Pines and
the ACF lifestyle, which can be found by clicking one of the links in the
navigation bars found at both the top and bottom of this page. But whatever
you decide, keep in mind that due to demand, ACFs now have long waiting
lists. WebTV and AOL users alone will take years to absorb.
[ Author Unknown -- from John Traver ]
Inspirational Humor
SkyWriting.Net
All Rights Reserved.
|