Twelve Things You Can Do With A Fruitcake...

1. Paint a few white and place them outside on the grass so people won't park on your lawn.
   
   
2. Use it as building material. (This is actually what the Ancient Egyptians used to build the Great Pyramids.)
   
   
3. Keep one under your pillow for home defense.
   
   
4. Send one to the junk mail company with a note asking them to take you off their list.
   
   
5. It's colorful, use it as a Yule Log.
   
   
6. Carve the Presidents' faces in one and submit it as a science project.
   
   
7. Give one to your boss and tell him it's a life preserver.
   
   
8. Use it as a base for flower arrangements.
   
   
9. Donate to the local airport for use as airliner wheel blocks.
   
   
10. Grind a few up and give it back to your in-laws in a bag marked "lawn fertilizer."
    
    
11. For a community project, sink a few in the ocean and build an artificial reef.
    
    
12. Tie one to each foot when you walk through deep snow to keep your feet dry.

[ Author Unknown -- 'Mikey's Funnies' (funnies-owner@lists.MikeysFunnies.com) ]