Why You'll Like Retirement

1. Question: How many days in a week?
   Answer:   6 Saturdays and 1 Sunday.
   
   
2. Question: When is a retiree's bedtime?
   Answer:   Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.
   
   
3. Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb?
   Answer:   Only one, but it might take all day.
   
   
4. Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees?
   Answer:   There is not enough time to get everything done.
   
   
5. Question: Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors?
   Answer:   The term comes with a 10% percent discount.
   
   
6. Question: Among retirees what is considered formal attire?
   Answer:   Tied shoes.
   
   
7. Question: Why do retirees count pennies?
   Answer:   They are the only ones who have the time.
   
   
8. Question: What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire?
   Answer:   NUTS! (I CAN RELATE TO THAT!)
   
   
9. Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage?
   Answer:   They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there.
   
   
10. Question: What do retirees call a long lunch?
    Answer:   Normal.
    
    
11. Question: What is the best way to describe retirement?
    Answer:   The never ending Coffee Break.
    
    
12. Question: What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree?
    Answer:   If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.
    
    
13. Question: Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but misses the people he used to work with?
    Answer:   He is too polite to tell the whole truth. (THERE IS A LOT OF TRUTH TO THAT!)
    

[ Author Unknown -- Randy, via 'Buffalos Chips' (buffalos-g-jokes.yahoogroups.com) ]