Wife Sick - Husband Suffers
Notes pinned to the pillow of a mother who has the flu by a well-meaning
husband who has inherited the house and kids.
-
Monday A.M.
Dearest: Sleep late. Everything under control.
Lunches packed. Kids off to school. Menu for dinner planned. Your lunch is
on a tray in refrigerator: fruit cup, finger-sandwiches. Thermos of hot tea
by bedside. See you around six.
-
Tuesday A.M.
Honey: Sorry about the egg rack in the frig. Hope you got back to sleep. Did
the kids tell you about the Coke I put in the Thermoses? The school might
call you about this. Dinner may be a little late. I'm doing your
door-to-door canvas for liver research. Your lunch is in refrigerator. Hope
you like leftover chili.
-
Wednesday A.M.
Dear Doris: Why in the name of all that is sane would you put soap powder in
the flour canister! If you have time, could you please come up with a likely
spot for Chris's missing shoes? We've checked the clothes hamper, garage,
back seat of the car and wood box. Did you know the school has a ruling on
bedroom slippers? There's some cold pizza for you on a napkin in the oven
drawer. Will be late tonight. Driving eight Girl Scouts to tour meat-packing
house.
-
Thursday A.M.
Doris: Don't panic over water in hallway. It crested last night at 9 P.M.
Will finish laundry tonight. Please pencil in answers to following: 1. How
do you turn on the garbage disposal? 2. How do you turn off the milkman? 3.
Why would that rotten kid leave his shoes in his boots? 4. How do you remove
a Confederate flag inked on the palm of a small boy's hand? 5. What do you
do with leftovers when they begin to snap at you when you open the door? I
don't know what you're having for lunch! Surprise me!
-
Friday A.M.
Hey: Don't drink from pitcher by the sink. Am trying to restore pink dress
shirt to original white. Take heart. Tonight, the ironing will be folded,
the house cleaned and the dinner on time....... I called your mother. Have
a great day!
[ Author Unknown -- from 'Buffalos Chips' (buffalos-g-jokes.yahoogroups.com) ]
Inspirational Humor
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