You Need A Vacation From Dogs

Strong signs you need a vacation from dogs:

1. When your spouse's shocked voice shouts from the shop, "Honey, come quick, I've had a terrible accident!", you show up breathless with a mop and scent neutralizer.
   
   
2. You wake panicked in the middle of the night when you sense you suddenly have room to move your body around the bed.
   
   
3. You can't sleep unless you hear lots of heavy breathing in your bedroom
   
   
4. The emergency number on your speed dialer is for the dog's veterinarian.
   
   
5. When someone taps you on the shoulder, you tell them firmly, "Off!", then "Down!".
   
   
6. When tempers flare among your family members, you pull out the long forefinger, pointedly raise your voice and shout, "Go to your crates, now!"
   
   
7. When someone asks what's for dinner you automatically reply, "Kibbles and Bits".
   
   
8. When you are walking a ring around the local park and someone points at you and your dog, you raise both arms over your head, whoop and go looking for a ribbon.
   
   
9. When shopping, your best friend asks you what you think of that snappy suit in the window, and you scowl and mutter, "Useless, it is the same color as my dog and it has no pockets."
   
   
10. When your neighbor points to her crawling infant and asks you what you think of her new baby, you study it for a minute and reply, "Well, a little short on coat and long in the hock, but that kid has a great topline!"
    
    
11. Dog cookies are starting to look good.
    
    
12. What's a vacation?

[ Author Unknown -- from 'Colorado Comments' ]