Beatitudes for SAHMs-2

Beatitudes for 'Stay at Home Moms' (part 2)

"Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted." Matthew 5:4 (NIV).

Blessed are those who mourn? How can those who mourn be blessed? And how can mourning relate to SAHMs? Let's take a look at the word "blessed" first.

According to Webster the word blessed means: 1. hallowed, sacred, consecrated, joy, beautiful; 2. bringing comfort or joy; 3. enjoying great happiness, joyful, blissful.

The Amplified Bible uses this synonym for blessed - with a happiness produced by the experience of God‘s favor and especially conditioned by the revelation of His matchless grace. Well, the last one certainly seems to apply when we are mourning.

But, how do SAHMs mourn? Unless they have lost a child or a spouse or someone else dear to them during their time as a SAHM, can this beatitude apply? Certainly! We know from psychologists that certain life events are stressors. Marriage, death in the family, divorce, moving and job changes are all at the top of the stressor list. Wait a minute - "job changes"???

What bigger job change is there for a woman that to go from a "working" woman to a SAHM? Whether the job was a daily grind or a high power career, there are certain things attached to working that are not (or seem not to be) replaced when we become SAHMs. From personal experience I know that going from a "working" woman to a SAHM was confusing.

When my daughter Katie was born when I was 40, I knew that being at home was where God wanted me. I counted the days of my pregnancy, not only for her to come into the world, but also for me to be able to say goodbye to my job as a nursing home administrator. The day came, I gave my notice, I was at home...and I was miserable!

How can you be miserable as a SAHM, when you and your husband have prayed and you know that this is God's will for your (and your child's) life? Think back to the stressors - think "mourn". We have to grieve the changes in our life. We used to get up every day, go to a place where we engaged in adult conversations, performed a service and received compensation. Now, we get up, engage in baby talk, toddler jabber, school-ese, sometimes get a shower, balance a budget and try to make ends meet.

We must allow ourselves time to grieve our former way of life - even though we know that being a SAHM is our heart's desire. I went from managing 150 employees to be ruled by one 5 lb. 13 oz. baby; I went from wearing pantyhose and suits to wearing sweats; I went from conversations about Medicare guidelines to conversations about diapers. I am sure you have a similar story.

Of course, at the time, this was all TOO confusing. After all, I wanted to be a SAHM, I knew this was where God wanted me to be, so why I was mourning a career I never really liked to begin with?

Mourning.... it can mean many things. To a SAHM it means the change (albeit a good one) from working woman to working mom. It means squelching the envy when your two income family neighbors buy two new cars in the same week that your car rolls over 100,000 miles. It means allowing yourself the time to adjust to being a SAHM.

So, those of you who "mourn" (grieve our changes) to become SAHMs are "blessed" (with a happiness produced by the experience of God's favor and especially conditioned by the revelation of His matchless grace)? Certainly! Again, this verse obviously refers to the salvation of Christ Jesus, but we can apply it to our lives as well.

We are blessed, we mourn and we are comforted. Ah, comfort. How are we comforted? The commentaries are quiet on this verse - it is pretty straightforward. But as a SAHM, comfort can come in many ways. First, and foremost, we must find time in our busy days to remain in a personal relationship with our God. Sneak a few minutes to read a scripture verse and pray between those late night feedings, or waiting at a doctor's appointment. If we seek God's will in becoming SAHMs, we must seek His guidance and comfort on a daily basis - even if it starts with just "stolen" moments.

Secondly, seek comfort from other SAHMs. When I was little all my friend's moms were SAHMs (we called them "housewives" back then!). My Mom had lots of support, others looking to stay in a budget, trying to stay on top of the housework, sewing costumes and kissing boo-boos. Today we must actively seek the comfort of liked minded SAHMs. Put a notice in your church bulletin, join a MOPS group, and actively look for others who are following God's desire for them to be at home with their kids.

Thirdly, we must take comfort in the fact that some of our comforting will be delayed. We must understand that the time we are investing, the sacrifices in finances, career and material things we are making now, will not come to fruition until later, when our children are grown. From talking to SAHMs with grown children, all have validated the fact that as their children have grown being a SAHM was worth it. I have never heard one say that they wished they had continued working instead of being a SAHM. Oh, they talk about how the money was tight, but now they are taking comfort in the fact that being a SAHM was God's will for them.

So SAHMs allow yourself time to mourn, and don't feel guilty, keep in touch with the source of your comfort Jesus Christ, and accept the daily comforts in the special moments with your children. Blessed are SAHMs who mourn the loss of past things for they shall be blessed to know that they followed God's will for their lives!


About the author:

Cheryl is a SAHM to her three year old daughter. She worked as a nursing home administrator for 8 years before her promotion to 'Stay At Home Mommy.' She loves being a homebody, sewing, needle arts, scrap-booking and raising her daughter. Cheryl believes that SAHMs don't get enough support or encouragement in this day of two income families.

[ by Cheryl Novak, Copyright 2000 ]